the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
you would pick up someone in the library
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
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what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
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Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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