And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
