I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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