3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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