He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
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when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
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We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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