He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Randomize
