I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
