So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
