I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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