the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
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