The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize