dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
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