i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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