I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
