I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
