So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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