This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
