She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
