You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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