he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I am naked and annoyed.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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