He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
