Jerry, you need to find god
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
