so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
