if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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