My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize