??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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