this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize