you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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