Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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