I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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