we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
