Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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