You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
