I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
