At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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