ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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