Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
