1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
