we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
There r osticjed everywhere
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
