tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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