Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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