The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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