He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
