I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
