Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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