Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Fuck appropriateness.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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