Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize