I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
