Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
