So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Who died my cat blue again?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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