Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
