My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
