Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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