It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
