I need help removing her.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
