She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
